Another Amelia page. The line “I’m sorry, but this is too late for you” is swiped directly from her telling of what Axe Cop does and says in this scene. Ethan frowns upon using kid quotes directly in the dialogue or narration, but in this instance (and a few others) I just couldn’t help myself. Having a staredown with a monster and saying “I’m sorry, but this is too late for you” is just a perfect kid logic translation of how one talks when they’re trying to be intimidating. I love it.
To anyone that noticed that the dragon didn’t get his head chopped off, be patient. You just don’t know how the Axe Cop Swinger™ 2008 works.
Any metal fans out there? I’ll be traipsing down the east coast with my band Lich King in two weeks’ time. For full dates go here.
When you traipse, you’re probably singing “tra-la-la-la-laaa” or something. I’ll be sure to swing my arms in wide arcs and kick my knees up, grinning sweetly as I do.
KIDS’ QUOTES OF THE WEEK
I’m driving Charlotte home from school.
Charlotte: “I’m hungry.”
Me: “Why don’t you eat my fist?”
Charlotte: “Well THAT wasn’t a very nice thing to say.”
-Charlotte, 6 years old
Mommy: “Amelia, are you a human being?”
Amelia: “Noooo, I a lady!”
-Amelia, 3 years old
It’s strange coincidence that I happen to have star-nosed mole beasts in both of my web comics at the moment (in Bearmageddon, my characters have been in a battle with a giant bear mole).
It’s also strange that I posted this on Friday, but even though I kept reminding myself to update Axe Cop yesterday, I kept forgetting, and somehow continued to forget to actually do it, until I fell asleep at 4:30a.m. So, I am posting it a day late.
If you live in the Los Angeles area I will be part of a web comics seminar on “Making a Living With Your Web Comic” at Gallery Nucleus on March 1st. If you are an aspiring web comics maker I recommend it! Also, if you just want to buy a book or get something signed, or just say hi, there is a signing open to the public that day at 4pm.
Well that is Ask Axe Cop #99. 1 away from 100, which was my goal when I started doing Ask Axe Cop 4 years ago. If you have Axe Cop Volume 5, you have already read #100. After I post #100, I don’t have anything new to post for a while. We will finish out Revenge on Rainbow Girl with Tom and then we will be posting guest comics for a while until I can get caught up.
The idea of Axe Cop going insane is terrifying, but not altogether unbelievable. He is already constantly walking the thin fine line of sanity as it is. One of my favorite things about Axe Cop is his many contingency plans for any and all situations. This is one of my favorites.
Reminder that Axe Cop Vol. 5 is out now! This is possibly my favorite collection. It is very dense and has a lot of good stuff in it.
This episode of Ask Axe Cop is full of ret-conning, but it wouldn’t be Axe Cop if he didn’t switch directions on you when you least expected it. So, here we go… Axe Cop’s parents are alive, Telescope Gun Cop is dead, Flute Cop and Axe Cop are aware of everything.
By the way, Axe Cop Volume 5 just came out yeterday and I think it is the most jam-packed volume yet. It is a web collection, but it has more unique extras than the other web collections. It has…
-Foreword by Nick Offerman
-Lots of commentary and introductions by me
-Ask Axe Cop 72-100 (3 episodes that have not posted to the site yet)
-Axe Cop Gets Married
-Axe Cop Presents: The Animal Man
-5-page Axe Cop wedding photo album
-big sketchbook/making of section
This is one of those things I love about how kids see the world. When you get older and jaded, you tend to mock Mall Cops. But to a kid, the job is equal to being Batman. Malachai’s only real issue with the mall cop is that he only stays inside the mall, when he could be protecting the whole world. A Segway is not a silly device to Malachai, it’s awesome. It’s like a stand-up Batmobile.
I hope Mall Cops the world over are inspired by this one.
Also, Steve Jackson Games, makers of the awesome Axe Cop Munchkin Card Game, have partnered with AxeCop.com and will be advertising upcoming games. Big thanks to them for helping pay the bills on the site. I am a big supporter of their work. They have a game that we will be advertising in February called Nanuk, and it has bears. You know how I feel about bears. Here is the info they sent me:
Winter is Coming
All the hunters boasted of their prowess, but you boasted the loudest. Now you have to deliver . . .
In Nanuk, each player bids for how long he can stay on the trail and how much he will bring home. Each boast must be greater than the one before, until one hunter refuses to raise the bid, saying “You’re doomed!” Then the hunt begins. Will the hunt leader make good on his boast, or will the doomers be right? Every player decides secretly to help . . . or to let it fail.
Beware Nanuk, the great polar bear, who can end any hunt in failure. If you find an inuksuk, it will protect you — once. If the hunt is successful, the hunters share the animals collected. But if the hunt fails, the doomers score instead.
Nanuk is a fast-playing, highly social game of bidding and bluffing for 5 to 8 players