Axe Cop was born Axey Smartist in 2004 to his parents Bobber and Gobber Smartist. After his parents ate candy canes that were poisoned by Telescope Gun Cop he swore on their grave he would become a cop. At some point he decided an axe was a better weapon than a gun, and it turns out he was right. Axe Cop now regularly has try outs for various warriors and super heroes to join him as he fights evil. He only has two known weaknesses: Being surprised (which causes him to melt), and Cherry Rainbow candy canes.
Powers: axe chop, Axe Cop with lemon, lemon grenades, retractable danger-sensing antennae, psychic attacks, poison food production, mustache has robot hands and secret weapons, super high jumps, hypnotize button in wrist
This has been a popular question and it was about time we look at what Axe Land really looks like. This easily could have been an entire book. Malachai was ready to map out a theme park that could cover a planet. I think we get the idea here though… you just add axes and dinosaurs to old theme park favorites like Splash Mountain and the Jurassic Park ride (which already had dinosaurs, so you make them into mummies too).
I don’t think my wife generally keeps up to date on my posts, so I am going to take a chance here and post this link to an original piece by Doug TenNapel and me of Axe Cop teaming up with Earthworm Jim. I want to use the money from this to put towards her birthday present. It will help me be able to buy her something a little more spendy if I don’t pull money directly out of our checking account. The use of bonus funds alone will be a gift to her, as she is very frugal, which is one of the many great things about her.
I sold 100 of these as prints with a bit of color added. This is the actual original drawing by Doug and me. As far as I know, this is the only drawing we have ever drawn together.
And there it is, the first blow of the coming battle is struck, and it’s called foul right off. The way this came about was in telling the story, Charlotte got to this part and said:
“…Axe Cop walks up with all his pals. And he says to them “you will neverbeevil again! And then he chops off the little kids’ heads.”
She immediately rethought it and started to go another way, but it was too funny to let go so I kept it. You HAVE to keep a sudden, unprovoked axe attack on little kids to punish the parents. You know, when I type it out like that, it’s not so funny anymore. But… well… at least it’s funny in the Axe Cop universe. Infanticide is many horrible things, but at least we can enjoy that it’s hilarious in the context of an Axe Cop comic.
KIDS’ QUOTES OF THE WEEK
”If The Hulk just played dead,
nobody would ever bother him.” -Charlotte, 6 years old
Amelia’s in trouble and she thinks her
stuffed bear, Vanilla, has told on her.
She yells “Curse you, Vanilla!!”
then throws him down the stairs. -Amelia, 5 years old
There are a lot of questions surrounding Axe Cop’s methods for determining the hard-lined, black and white morality he can determine before he chops a bad guy’s head off. Obviously, we know his most common method is to check their front kick or their eye color. But if the bad guy cannot kick, and does not have eye pigment, Axe Cop employs other methods. I don’t know why, but I find the shirt-lifting belly button check the most intrusive. Maybe it’s because I am a self conscious fat guy.
Well, all right, all that art-talk over the last two blogs was a complete dud and no one cared. Sorry ’bout that.
I don’t have the time to write up much of a blog this week, I’m under the gun on an art deadline and am cranking out pages. I wouldn’t leave you with nothing, though, so here’s the audio of Amelia telling an Axe Cop story. I requested it be in a smoothie shop because I was trying to tie it in to the comic story, and didn’t wind up using this at all. I definitely don’t have the time to draw it these days, but if anyone has the time, this’d make a good guest strip.
KIDS’ QUOTES OF THE WEEK
Me: “I need to take a shower.” Charlotte: “Why?” Me: “I need one, I’m stinky.”
She gives me a hug. Charlotte: “You’re not stinky.” Me: “Aww, thanks!”
I sneeze. Charlotte: “But you ARE gross.” -Charlotte, 6 years old
Amelia is going to get her room painted. She says she’s going to have pictures painted of “blocks and tigers and people and butts and people.” -Amelia, 4 years old
Next week, the first act of aggression in this street fight is about to go down, and it’s a doozy.
This one goes out to all the Axe Cop readers who are enlisted or are veterans of military service. I am always humbled by people who choose that path, considering my line of work. If it weren’t for people like I could never live in a country where making silly comics like this would afford me a living.