Pertamax

Those babies are gonna be CONSTIPATED.

It’s a bit strange that this chapter is called “The Ultimate Battle”, but it’s just ordinary preparation for dinner as far as the Baby family is concerned…

Yea, and their farts are going to STINK!

tonight we dine in…baby suits!

@Nathan:
I sure hope that’s what this leads to.

<geek mode>
Based on the splash panel, Eggy Eggy was at least 150 meters tall, yielding a mass of approximately 9 million tons.

A 35 gram egg contains 47mg of cholesterol, so Eggy Eggy contains about 12100 tons of cholesterol. If this is assumed shared equally between the 6 members of the family, they each get about 2000 tons of cholesterol from consuming their (seemingly daily) dinner. To be alive, they must have less than 4g of cholesterol per liter of blood, meaning that they must be pumping at least 500 million liters of blood around their baby bodies, making them weigh 500,000 tons each.

This requires a massive propulsion force from the gassing to make Baby Man move forward, which requires a huge amount of…EGGS! It all makes sense.

God, I wonder what thanksgiving is like at the Baby-House…

Are they saying grace or offering memoriums to all the people killed in the explosions

Haha, does Malachai really know “hors d’oeuvres”?  Not doubting, generally curious.

@ Tim Wille,

That is just epic.  I mean, the amount of geek-ness in that one pot?  Just plain EPIC.

The extra note at the end of the list should read “feast feast”.

Woo! Giant deviled eggs make my day!

Wait… are they eating THROUGH their pacifiers? How do they pull that one off, did they learn how to do that from the McNinjas and their eat-through-masks skills?

Holy wow. I mean… I like deviled eggs and all, but that’s… I suppose this will make them that much more “bad ass”, so to speak. Pun intended.

@Tim Wille:
Excellent observation, sir! However, it does not appear to me that any member of the Baby Family has a volume great enough to hold 500 million liters of blood, let alone any significant fraction of the 9 million tons of Eggy Eggy. Instead, I suspect that the unconsumed portions are divided up amongst the families of those who perished in the hunt as a consolation for their loss.
Assuming that the Baby Family is considerate enough to pay reparations to the immediate family of each and every victim, and given that the average family size in the United States is 3.14 (I assume that these hunts take place in America), we may calculate an upper bound on the allowed number of casualties:
An adult with a mass of around 75kg contains about 5 liters of blood. A child of half that mass contains half as much blood. Thus the maximum “safe” amounts of cholesterol are 20g for an adult and 10g for a child. Now let us assume that a family contains no more than two adults, and that one of them was killed in an explosion (I don’t recall witnessing the deaths of any children). In the aftermath, we are left with 2.14 individuals: one adult and 1.14 children, and so the total cholesterol capacity per family is 31.4g. 12,100 tons is approximately 11 billion grams, and so there is enough cholesterol to satisfy about 350 million families.
Therefore, the hunt may claim up to 350 million lives, which is about 3% larger than the population of the United States.
Also, I am glad to see that you did not end geek mode—no one should ever end geek mode.

@ Tim Wille and Aaron:
Through my various connections, I have recommended the two of you to the daily King of the Internet contest and you were selected.  Enjoy being kings of the internet for the rest of the day.

As we’re still in geek mode we should also note that the time it takes to boil an egg, assuming constant thermal conductivity of yolk and white, depends on mass raised to the (2/3) power (see link). A 50 gram egg takes about 5 minutes to boil. A 9 million ton egg is 8.16466266 × 10^12 grams, to get the factor of time difference we can put the ratio of masses to the (2/3) power. 9 million tons over 50 grams is 163,293,253,200, that number to the 2/3 power is 29,875,292. Multiplying that by the 5 minutes for a 50 gram egg we get 29,875,292 * 5 minutes = 284 years. But this number could be much lower if eggy eggy is already at a high internal temperature, which it could be, having been alive, and having recently undergone a transformation of unknown parameters.

And of course the baby is wearing a baby costume.  Of course.

I sure hope no-one ends geek mode anytime soon.

Eggy Eggys body is 923 pixels high and his leg diameter is 70 pixels. If 923 pixels corresponds to 150 meters, then his leg diameter is about 11 meters. That gives his legs (assuming that they are roughly cylindrical) a cross sectional area of around 400 square meters. Two legs gives 800 square meters, which need to support the 9 million tons of egg. This equates to a internal pressure on his legs of 108 million pascal or 1073 atmospheres. This pressure is about equal to the water pressure at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. No biological material can withstand that sort of static pressure, and certainly the legs would shatter when Eggy Eggy takes a step. We are forced to conclude that Eggy Eggy’s legs are solid diamond.

Of course, this adds 84,000 tons of diamond to Baby Family’s list of bounty. (assuming leg length of 30 meters). Flooding the market with both legs would cause the price of diamonds to drop by 110,000%.

Visual evidence would indicate that the legs were not made of diamond, but egg, since it would seem that the Baby family ate it’s legs as well.  So it would have to be egg with the compressive strength of diamond, which would make it very hard to chew, especially when cooked.  Therefore the Baby family must have had their teeth and jaw muscles reinforced in preparation for the ‘Feast’ (Feast).

I would also think that the amount of heat necessary to devil an egg of that size could not be generated in our atmosphere without igniting the oxygen and killing all life on the planet…

all life on the planet seems to be acceptable collateral damage for the Baby family in their pursuit of their feast.

Whatever material the eggs are made of, the absolute minimum jaw pressure required to make a dent in those legs is the aforementioned 1073 atmospheres, and almost certainly many times that number. Such a bite requires a minimal force of 44 kilonewtons and probably closer to 200 kilonewtons. For every one square centimetre of cross sectional area, muscle fibres can exert a maximum force of approximately 30 to 40 newtons, so the baby family jaws need to have muscles with a cross section of 7 square feet.

Again, it certainly does not appear to be the case that any member of the Baby Family has the necessary physiology to chew the leg material. Instead, I suspect that the legs are used within heavy load-bearing structures, given their enormous compressive strength. Any ideas?

@Tim Wille

I imagine you meant to say that the legs use heavy load-bearing structures within, like an appropriate skeletal structure.  The egg’s leg bones would likely have to be diamond or some exotic material.  Possibly Depleted Uranium?