There once was a president man
Who could do what our dear God can
Many bombs he did send
To the tummies of bad men
And now Axey is without a plan

On island that’s run by the Navy
There lives a man made of babies
His powers were strong
And his attack list quite long
But he loved only crumpets and gravy

I am plagued for the rest of my life
For my business keeps me from my wife
She’s lonely and lean
For those bad guys are mean
And I’ve only seen her but twice

I fight with my arms, which are socks
My adventures put bad-guys behind locks
Though they may seem quite limp
And you think me a wimp
You’ll find that my attack is da boss

Great limericks so far, everyone! Here’s mine:

Axe Cop shouts his favorite phrase -
“I’ll chop your head off!” - as Wexter’s guns blaze;
The bad guys all sob,
“When will you quit your job?”
Says Axey, “My job is ALWAYS!”

A swing of the axe and it’s said
that Axe cop can cut off crime’s head.
Evil takes many shapes
From robot zombies to apes
but in the end they all wind up dead.

BloonerNL - 09 July 2010 01:45 AM

Aaron - 07 July 2010 11:14 AM

This was a fantastic idea—I love what I’ve seen so far!

There once was a cop with an axe,
Who had many secret attacks.
    To the bad guys he’d scoff,
    “I’ll chop your heads off!”
And he’d feed them to Wexter as snacks!

So I know I don’t have any copyright on this… But you did notice you just totally ripped off about 50% of my limerick? 2 pages back:

http://axecop.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/106/P45/#1959

I give you my apologies, but my inspiration came from the hundreds of “There once was a man from Nantucket” limericks that have come into the public domain, and I wrote this only after skimming through the first two pages, having not seen yours. In fact, I can tell you exactly how I came up with those lines:

First, “There once was a man from Nantucket” transforms quite easily into “There once was a cop with an axe.”
I then realized that, to my excitement, “axe” rhymes with “secret attacks,” which are, of course, something that Axe Cop has a lot of. Thus, within two seconds, I had
“There once was a cop with an axe
Who had lots of secret attacks.”
Finally, I changed “lots of” to “many,” because for some reason, I wanted fewer words with more syllables.

Actually, the fact that history is full of cases in which different people independently invent the same thing fascinates me. For example, both Egyptians and Mayans built pyramids and wrote in hieroglyphs, despite the fact that there was no link between the two civilizations! The interesting part is that there is always a good reason behind why this happens—in the case of pyramids and hieroglyphs, these are physics and psychology: If you want to build a tall structure, and your only building material is stone, then it better be wide at the base and get progressively narrower as you go up, otherwise it will inevitably collapse under its own weight, and, as all children know, the most fundamental way for a human being to record an idea is to draw a picture.

So you see, I did not copy your work. Instead, it seems that you and I were simply thinking along the same lines, and came to the same natural conclusion. In fact, now that I have gone back and carefully read all seven pages of this thread, I have found, to no surprise, that on the very first one we have

Brotherlucas - 01 July 2010 07:12 AM

There once was a Cop with an axe
Who knew lots of secret attacks
His pet dinosaur
Had a fiery roar
And bad-guy-killing spikes on his back.

I truly doubt that you plagiarized him any more than I “plagiarized” you, but instead suspect that all three of us are nothing more than three great minds who think alike. (Although I hardly consider my mind to be great—I’m just lucky!)

Edit: I have added a note to my first post acknowledging that both you and Brotherlucas wrote your limericks before I wrote mine. However, I still maintain that I created mine independently. I am happy to provide credit wherever credit is due!

Axe cop comics are awesome
for a guy who likes to play possum
give a lymric a try
in the next issue you’ll die
a chance for a gothic to blossom?

There was a boy by the name Malachai
Write a lim’rick, he’ll help you to die
Doesn’t care about you
You’re just some fool
Just be glad he’ll kill you with style.

This is a limerick that would be said by Axe Cop himself to his many fans:

If you want to be part of my gang,
Here’s advice from my friend Sockarang:
“Practice front-kicking, stabbing,
But NEVER that jabbing,
And bad guys will die with a bang!”

Aand another one.

Oh, the life of a villainous guy
Is a life you’d be foolish to try.
There’s an Axe-wielding cop,
Who finds joy in the chop,
And he’s coming to make you all die!

Chainsaber Gunchucks Cop - 09 July 2010 12:54 PM

Oh, the life of a villainous guy
Is a life you’d be foolish to try.
There’s an Axe-wielding cop,
Who finds joy in the chop,
And he’s coming to make you all die!

Dude, that’s awesome!

Although Axe Cop has one righteous front kick
Our cash registers are quite slick
Its invisible paint
No evil may taint
The bad guys it always will trick

Aaron - 09 July 2010 09:55 AM

I truly doubt that you plagiarized him any more than I “plagiarized” you, but instead suspect that all three of us are nothing more than three great minds who think alike. (Although I hardly consider my mind to be great—I’m just lucky!)

Edit: I have added a note to my first post acknowledging that both you and Brotherlucas wrote your limericks before I wrote mine. However, I still maintain that I created mine independently. I am happy to provide credit wherever credit is due!

Hey no worries!

I was pretty sure you just made up something extremely similar, was just checking/messing with you a bit!

Anyways, your’s is better then mine, so you can have it! xD

Greets!

I’m glad that you pointed it out! I would have felt the same way if I suspected that somebody used my work without acknowledgement, and I really do want to give proper credit to anyone who deserves it.

I am also glad that you like the limerick, but if you think that it’s better than yours, then try doing even better still! For example:

There once was a cop with an axe
Who had many secret attacks.
    The best was a flower
    with poisonous power
to lay bad guys out on their backs!

The opening lines are yours just as much as they are mine, so put them to good use! (Or come up with something new, or start with any of my limericks—I don’t mind so long as credit is given.)

Good luck!

Made up entirely of sound effects from actual Axe Cop strips!

Spear impale foomp lop chop bachow
Rustle quack chuck scoop chormp eat kpow
Shoonk shink pok jab shpt phbt
Hitch thud sock fizzle phbbbt
Twirl shiv rumble plop stab chalk chpow