Another Amelia page. The line “I’m sorry, but this is too late for you” is swiped directly from her telling of what Axe Cop does and says in this scene. Ethan frowns upon using kid quotes directly in the dialogue or narration, but in this instance (and a few others) I just couldn’t help myself. Having a staredown with a monster and saying “I’m sorry, but this is too late for you” is just a perfect kid logic translation of how one talks when they’re trying to be intimidating. I love it.
To anyone that noticed that the dragon didn’t get his head chopped off, be patient. You just don’t know how the Axe Cop Swinger™ 2008 works.
Any metal fans out there? I’ll be traipsing down the east coast with my band Lich King in two weeks’ time. For full dates go here.
When you traipse, you’re probably singing “tra-la-la-la-laaa” or something. I’ll be sure to swing my arms in wide arcs and kick my knees up, grinning sweetly as I do.
KIDS’ QUOTES OF THE WEEK
I’m driving Charlotte home from school. Charlotte: “I’m hungry.” Me: “Why don’t you eat my fist?” Charlotte: “Well THAT wasn’t a very nice thing to say.” -Charlotte, 6 years old
Mommy: “Amelia, are you a human being?” Amelia: “Noooo, I a lady!” -Amelia, 3 years old
It’s strange coincidence that I happen to have star-nosed mole beasts in both of my web comics at the moment (in Bearmageddon, my characters have been in a battle with a giant bear mole).
It’s also strange that I posted this on Friday, but even though I kept reminding myself to update Axe Cop yesterday, I kept forgetting, and somehow continued to forget to actually do it, until I fell asleep at 4:30a.m. So, I am posting it a day late.
If you live in the Los Angeles area I will be part of a web comics seminar on “Making a Living With Your Web Comic” at Gallery Nucleus on March 1st. If you are an aspiring web comics maker I recommend it! Also, if you just want to buy a book or get something signed, or just say hi, there is a signing open to the public that day at 4pm.
Well that is Ask Axe Cop #99. 1 away from 100, which was my goal when I started doing Ask Axe Cop 4 years ago. If you have Axe Cop Volume 5, you have already read #100. After I post #100, I don’t have anything new to post for a while. We will finish out Revenge on Rainbow Girl with Tom and then we will be posting guest comics for a while until I can get caught up.
…having nothing else to say today, I’ll just leave you with that.
KIDS’ QUOTES OF THE WEEK
Singing:
“If you want to be with a girl like me, like me, like me,
You can’t be like that, like that, like that.
You have to be cool, be cool, be cool.
You have to be a werewolf.” -Charlotte, 6 years old
Amelia’s still in diapers. She’s got a distant look on her face and that tends to mean only one thing. Me: “Mia, are you pooping?” Amelia: “No. …Are you pooping?” -Amelia, 2 years old
The idea of Axe Cop going insane is terrifying, but not altogether unbelievable. He is already constantly walking the thin fine line of sanity as it is. One of my favorite things about Axe Cop is his many contingency plans for any and all situations. This is one of my favorites.
Reminder that Axe Cop Vol. 5 is out now! This is possibly my favorite collection. It is very dense and has a lot of good stuff in it.
“…and then Rainbow Girl shot a rainbow up in the air. It was so bright and hot that some of the good guys fainted.”
The last panel is one of Amelia’s contributions, and though it doesn’t happen often, the text there is exactly as she said it when she was telling me the story: “the dragon breathed fire and never died until the end.” It’s got that kid storytelling thing to it, where saying that a big bad guy doesn’t die while you’re fighting him is making the story exciting. I love it. Anyway.
Last week our GET REVENGE ON RAINBOW GIRL contest wrapped up. Our winner is… Aaron Pokoj. His revenge scheme is as follows:
“Rainbow Girl and the dragon fuse, creating Fire-Rainbow Girl, who then promptly eats Lightning Boy to steal his powers. At this point, Axe Cop is discouraged, but then Mr. Stocker reveals that he actually had super powers all along! He grows to a massive size and fights the new monstrosity, paralyzing it. Axe Cop kills it by chopping off its head. He then takes the monster’s bones to make a new surprise-proof suit, and takes the exact change needed to buy a smoothie out of its pocket. He then cuts off Mr. Stocker’s head for lying about not having powers.”
Poor Mr. Stocker. But really, if you’re going to be on a crime-fighting team, you have to divulge these things right away.
KIDS’ QUOTES OF THE WEEK
they’re eating dinner that daddy has prepared. Charlotte: “I give this… a 10.” Daddy: “Aww, thank you Charlotte.” Charlotte: “…out of 20.” -Charlotte, 8 years old
Walking around somewhere: “Can you pick me up, Unca Tommy?
My feet are getting hurting.” -Amelia, 4 years old
This episode of Ask Axe Cop is full of ret-conning, but it wouldn’t be Axe Cop if he didn’t switch directions on you when you least expected it. So, here we go… Axe Cop’s parents are alive, Telescope Gun Cop is dead, Flute Cop and Axe Cop are aware of everything.
By the way, Axe Cop Volume 5 just came out yeterday and I think it is the most jam-packed volume yet. It is a web collection, but it has more unique extras than the other web collections. It has…
-Foreword by Nick Offerman
-Lots of commentary and introductions by me
-Ask Axe Cop 72-100 (3 episodes that have not posted to the site yet)
Not having much of anything to say today, I guess I’ll plug myself.
I do illustration and design for hire. Check me out here at my page. Contact me if you have something you want me to scribble. Here’s a recent project I completed for an AT&T conference done in my best attempt at a Jack Kirby style, of all things.
I also do vocals in Lich King, we do 80s thrash metal. I understand there’s likely not much organic overlap between Axe Cop and thrash metal fans, but screw it, we go where the fun is. We have a song about Axe Cop that Ethan’s been kind enough to spam to you a few times. Here’s that and a couple of other jaunty ditties.
We’re touring in March down the east coast with our pals Exmortus. If you’d like to come out and see the (other) guy that draws Axe Cop making a fool of himself on stage, here are the dates. Click the image for more details. Y’know. If details are what you’re into.
That’s it for this week. Next week, Rainbow Girl and the fire-breathing dragon strike.
KIDS’ QUOTES OF THE WEEK
Charlotte’s playing Minecraft and flying over a desert. A forest appears. Charlotte: “Oh look, I can burn down the forest and build a house there!” Me: “Why do you have to burn down the trees to build a house??” Charlotte: “Because we need space!” Me: “I think you just want to play with fire. There’s
space in the desert, why don’t you build a house there?” Charlotte: “Because sand is stupid! …Okay,
now let’s light some trees on fire.” -Charlotte, 8 years old
The kids are being shown STAND BY ME. Charlotte: Why do they keep saying the F word? Amelia: I don’t hear it, all I keep hearing is “f***.” -Amelia, 6 years old
This is one of those things I love about how kids see the world. When you get older and jaded, you tend to mock Mall Cops. But to a kid, the job is equal to being Batman. Malachai’s only real issue with the mall cop is that he only stays inside the mall, when he could be protecting the whole world. A Segway is not a silly device to Malachai, it’s awesome. It’s like a stand-up Batmobile.
I hope Mall Cops the world over are inspired by this one.
Also, Steve Jackson Games, makers of the awesome Axe Cop Munchkin Card Game, have partnered with AxeCop.com and will be advertising upcoming games. Big thanks to them for helping pay the bills on the site. I am a big supporter of their work. They have a game that we will be advertising in February called Nanuk, and it has bears. You know how I feel about bears. Here is the info they sent me:
Winter is Coming
All the hunters boasted of their prowess, but you boasted the loudest. Now you have to deliver . . .
In Nanuk, each player bids for how long he can stay on the trail and how much he will bring home. Each boast must be greater than the one before, until one hunter refuses to raise the bid, saying “You’re doomed!” Then the hunt begins. Will the hunt leader make good on his boast, or will the doomers be right? Every player decides secretly to help . . . or to let it fail.
Beware Nanuk, the great polar bear, who can end any hunt in failure. If you find an inuksuk, it will protect you — once. If the hunt is successful, the hunters share the animals collected. But if the hunt fails, the doomers score instead.
Nanuk is a fast-playing, highly social game of bidding and bluffing for 5 to 8 players
UPDATE: the splash image is no longer found by clicking the image, but you can CLICK HERE for it.
Let the violence commence!
Today’s page is what’s known as a double-page splash, so it’s technically two pages. When I started plotting out the comic I did it based on how I wanted it to look in print. Ethan says that’s the way to go, but because I wasn’t paying attention to how to leave off for each page, sometimes the pages for the site will leave off on a boring panel. Keeping two media in mind when drawing these things is not easy. As a double page splash it doesn’t really fit in the page format for the site, so handy Axe Cop site-guy Doug worked up a way to have it work out. Click above for the full-sized page.
The only dialogue here wasn’t written for the comic. In the telling, Charlotte merely started describing the fight. For the beginning of the battle, though, I wanted a big double-page dealie with an introduction to the action. I took the dialogue from something Charlotte said when she was four. We were on the couch and she attacked me, and we started wrestling. She yelled “THE FIGHT BEGINS!” I always liked it as a line that one combatant would yell as a battle kicks off, and it seems very appropriate to Axe Cop. So here we go.
Interestingly- or not- Axe Cop’s “get out of my way!” on Page 3 was likewise based on something Amelia said when she was three. I probably couldn’t communicate what was funny about it, but she was grinning and barreling at me at the time.
First (non-child) blood next week, as we learn how to kill bad guys Dinosaur Soldier and Army Chihuahua style.
KIDS’ QUOTES OF THE WEEK
The following was a playful insult: “You’re a baby. You’re a baby that was just born out of a belly.” -Charlotte, 5 years old
This was a song:
“i only had a sissy if you only had a sissy
with a gun, with a gun, with a gun” -Amelia, 3 years old
This leaves us open for Axe Cop to go back in time and go on an adventure with Club Cop, which I like. I like that Club Cop has the same problem with normal cops in his time. They don’t take him seriously because he doesn’t do things the way they do.
It is worth mentioning that Tom Started a Facebook Axe Cop contest to promote Revenge on Rainbow Girl. Prizes include getting to be in Axe Cop, a drawing by me, some rare screen prints and more.
A couple friend of Axe Cop have some projects worth checking out. Matthew Sargent, who has worked on Bearmageddon as a color flatter, and on some color flatting on Axe Cop as well as a guest episode is doing the graphic novel for a project called the Incident.
