Page 222 – The Perfect Revenge


And there you have it: the perfect revenge. We got to this part in the story and she laid out the revenge. I said “that’s it?” She said “yeah!” So, why not. An elaborate plan can be a simple murder, sure! You don’t argue with kid logic.

So. Yeah. Rainbow Girl’s dead. Enjoy your meal, Wexter.

The story’s not over yet. Next week: Lightning  Boy strikes back.


Charlie has lost a Wii game.
She sadly says “I have no hearts left.”
                                        -Charlotte, 6 years old

Amelia’s woken mommy up. 
“Come on mommy, let’s get up!  I sitting up, you sit up!
I getting out of bed!  I go on my BELLY!  Let’s GO!”
                                        -Amelia, 3 years old

Page 221 – Sparkling Like A New Man


Yeah, I said someone would die. I didn’t say it would last. Thanks, Ralph Wrinkles!

When I asked Charlotte what sort of a battle cry Rainbow Girl may have as she kills Axe Cop, she blurted out “rainbowtastic!” almost immediately. Makes sense to me.

I’m on tour right now. I had to upload this and the next page, and write up the blog posts for them, in advance. Rough stuff. Right now I’m somewhere off in the south, playing metal for underattended shows. But, hey, it’s travel.

Next week we will finally see Axe Cop get… the perfect revenge. He and Dinosaur Soldier and Army Chihuahua planned it way back on page 6. What could this plan entail? We finally learn next time.


Charlotte is looking for Wiimotes and finds one of the empty
silicone sheaths. “I found one, but it’s got no bones in it.”
                                        -Charlotte, 6 years old

“I dreamed I had twenty-nine ice creams with sprinkles,
cherries and hot fudge. Then I throwed up. I ate a
chicken and I throwed up again. Then me and Charlotte
falled down the stairs that were made of toilet paper
and daddy catched us before we broke our legs.”
                                        -Amelia, 4 years old

Page 220 – Orange juice?


Axes deflect burning hot rainbows. Just so you guys know.

I’m taking off on tour for the next two weeks, but the pages will go up. I’m cranking away at the comics mill to get the pages done in time. Weirdly, the big pain in making these isn’t the art or coloring or lettering, so much, but the sound effects. I really don’t like doing sound effects. I try to adhere to Nate Piekos’s (of methods of coming up with sound effects, but maaan, I don’t know that I’m cut out for it. I do know that a good sound effect really helps a panel a great deal. I just don’t feel like I’m the guy to make them. Being the only guy working on a comic can be really frustrating in a number of ways.

The battle ramps up between Axe Cop and Rainbow Girl. Next week… SOMEONE DIES.


“I really like learning about fire.”
                                        -Charlotte, 6 years old

Amelia’s singing along to the radio.
“Oh, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been a pillow fight”
                                        -Amelia, 6 years old

Ask Axe Cop #100 – Bigfoot


I have loved Bigfoot since I saw Harry and the Hendersons in theaters.  I wrote a massive report on Bigfoot in highschool that was something like 30-40 pages long.  I have always been fascinated by the creature and was excited to get to draw him.  Plus, this is Ask Axe Cop #100!  I set out to do at least 100 Ask Axe Cop questions when I started doing them.  DONE.  I think we still will do more, but for a while we will be taking a break.  I’m going to be posting guest episodes for a while.  If you want to submit some guest episodes, feel free to submit your own.

If you live in the Los Angeles area, Jason Brubaker and Travis Hanson will be doing a seminar on how to make money with your web comic.  Of course, that is the title, but chances are it will be an over-all seminar on web comic making in general, and you will have the opportunity to drill us with questions to your heart’s desire.  The class does cost some money, but I am throwing in a free Axe Cop TPB signed to all students, and Jason is throwing in a free signed book as well!  So right there it’s already a deal.  The class is this Satrday, March 1st at Gallery Nucleus.

And if you are looking for Axe Cop toys is looks like they are now available at many toy stores!



Page 219 – This Is Too Late For You


Another Amelia page. The line “I’m sorry, but this is too late for you” is swiped directly from her telling of what Axe Cop does and says in this scene. Ethan frowns upon using kid quotes directly in the dialogue or narration, but in this instance (and a few others) I just couldn’t help myself. Having a staredown with a monster and saying “I’m sorry, but this is too late for you” is just a perfect kid logic translation of how one talks when they’re trying to be intimidating. I love it.

To anyone that noticed that the dragon didn’t get his head chopped off, be patient. You just don’t know how the Axe Cop Swinger™ 2008 works.

Any metal fans out there? I’ll be traipsing down the east coast with my band Lich King in two weeks’ time. For full dates go here.

When you traipse, you’re probably singing “tra-la-la-la-laaa” or something. I’ll be sure to swing my arms in wide arcs and kick my knees up, grinning sweetly as I do.


I’m driving Charlotte home from school.
Charlotte: “I’m hungry.”
Me: “Why don’t you eat my fist?”
Charlotte: “Well THAT wasn’t a very nice thing to say.”
                                        -Charlotte, 6 years old

Mommy: “Amelia, are you a human being?”
Amelia: “Noooo, I a lady!”
                                        -Amelia, 3 years old

Ask Axe Cop #99 – the Mole People


It’s  strange coincidence that I happen to have star-nosed mole beasts in both of my web comics at the moment (in Bearmageddon, my characters have been in a battle with a giant bear mole).

It’s also strange that I posted this on Friday, but even though I kept reminding myself to update Axe Cop yesterday, I kept forgetting, and somehow continued to forget to actually do it, until I fell asleep at 4:30a.m.  So, I am posting it a day late.

If you live in the Los Angeles area I will be part of a web comics seminar on “Making a Living With Your Web Comic” at Gallery Nucleus on March 1st.  If you are an aspiring web comics maker I recommend it!  Also, if you just want to buy a book or get something signed, or just say hi, there is a signing open to the public that day at 4pm.

Well that is Ask Axe Cop #99.  1 away from 100, which was my goal when I started doing Ask Axe Cop 4 years ago.  If you have Axe Cop Volume 5, you have already read #100.  After I post #100, I don’t have anything new to post for a while.  We will finish out Revenge on Rainbow Girl with Tom and then we will be posting guest comics for a while until I can get caught up.


Ask Axe Cop #98 – Insane, Evil, Comatose or Dead


The idea of Axe Cop going insane is terrifying, but not altogether unbelievable.  He is already constantly walking the thin fine line of sanity as it is.  One of my favorite things about Axe Cop is his many contingency plans for any and all situations.  This is one of my favorites.

Reminder that Axe Cop Vol. 5 is out now!  This is possibly my favorite collection.   It is very dense and has a lot of good stuff in it.


Ask Axe Cop #97 – Time Machine


This episode of Ask Axe Cop is full of ret-conning, but it wouldn’t be Axe Cop if he didn’t switch directions on you when you least expected it.  So, here we go… Axe Cop’s parents are alive, Telescope Gun Cop is dead, Flute Cop and Axe Cop are aware of everything.

By the way, Axe Cop Volume 5 just came out yeterday and I think it is the most jam-packed volume yet.  It is a web collection, but it has more unique extras than the other web collections.  It has…

-Foreword by Nick Offerman

-Lots of commentary and introductions by me

-Ask Axe Cop 72-100 (3 episodes that have not posted to the site yet)

-The Dogs

-Axe Cop Gets Married

-Axe Cop Presents:  The Animal Man

-5-page Axe Cop wedding photo album

-big sketchbook/making of section

-pin ups




Ask Axe Cop #96: World Cop


This is one of those things I love about how kids see the world.  When you get older and jaded, you tend to mock Mall Cops.  But to a kid, the job is equal to being Batman.  Malachai’s only real issue with the mall cop is that he only stays inside the mall, when he could be protecting the whole world.  A Segway is not a silly device to Malachai, it’s awesome.  It’s like a stand-up Batmobile.

I hope Mall Cops the world over are inspired by this one.

Also, Steve Jackson Games, makers of the awesome Axe Cop Munchkin Card Game, have partnered with and will be advertising upcoming games.  Big thanks to them for helping pay the bills on the site.  I am a big supporter of their work.  They have a game that we will be advertising in February called Nanuk, and it has bears.  You know how I feel about bears.  Here is the info they sent me:

Winter is Coming
All the hunters boasted of their prowess, but you boasted the loudest. Now you have to deliver . . . 
In Nanuk, each player bids for how long he can stay on the trail and how much he will bring home. Each boast must be greater than the one before, until one hunter refuses to raise the bid, saying “You’re doomed!” Then the hunt begins. Will the hunt leader make good on his boast, or will the doomers be right? Every player decides secretly to help . . . or to let it fail.
Beware Nanuk, the great polar bear, who can end any hunt in failure. If you find an inuksuk, it will protect you — once. If the hunt is successful, the hunters share the animals collected. But if the hunt fails, the doomers score instead.
Nanuk is a fast-playing, highly social game of bidding and bluffing for 5 to 8 players
Also, there is still time to enter the Revenge on Rainbow Girl contest on Facebook!

Page 215 – The Fight Begins!


UPDATE: the splash image is no longer found by clicking the image, but you can CLICK HERE for it.

Let the violence commence!

Today’s page is what’s known as a double-page splash, so it’s technically two pages. When I started plotting out the comic I did it based on how I wanted it to look in print. Ethan says that’s the way to go, but because I wasn’t paying attention to how to leave off for each page, sometimes the pages for the site will leave off on a boring panel. Keeping two media in mind when drawing these things is not easy. As a double page splash it doesn’t really fit in the page format for the site, so handy Axe Cop site-guy Doug worked up a way to have it work out. Click  above for the full-sized page.

The only dialogue here wasn’t written for the comic. In the telling, Charlotte merely started describing the fight. For the beginning of the battle, though, I wanted a big double-page dealie with an introduction to the action. I took the dialogue from something Charlotte said when she was four. We were on the couch and she attacked me, and we started wrestling. She yelled “THE FIGHT BEGINS!” I always liked it as a line that one combatant would yell as a battle kicks off, and it seems very appropriate to Axe Cop. So here we go.

Interestingly- or not- Axe Cop’s “get out of my way!” on Page 3 was likewise based on something Amelia said when she was three. I probably couldn’t communicate what was funny about it, but she was grinning and barreling at me at the time.

First (non-child) blood next week, as we learn how to kill bad guys Dinosaur Soldier and Army Chihuahua style.


The following was a playful insult:
“You’re a baby. You’re a baby that
was just born out of a belly.”
                                        -Charlotte, 5 years old

This was a song:
“i only had a sissy if you only had a sissy
with a gun, with a gun, with a gun”
                                        -Amelia, 3 years old